The Dairy of a Sad Cat: The Kibble Bag Dilemma

Preface: This was originally posted on May 16 on Google+. I thought it was so much fun these diary entries belonged on the main blog.

Dairy of a Sad CatMy name is Princess. All hope is gone. Save yourself.

Only dust and stray treats remain in our kibble bag, and the humans seem unconcerned. We, my brother and two sisters and I, will surely starve before the sun sets. In the effort of making our plight known, I have attempted to dust the floor with my thick, luxurious coat.

Instead of immediately going to the Holy Temple of Cat Food and Toys, the human took out the black box of doom, mocking my misery.

In protest, we have tracked kibble and litter everywhere we can, scattering it over the floor the humans cooed over the day before.

The humans, especially the female, have not seemed to notice. She has taken to muttering something about books and bestsellers, with a crazy gleam in her eye.

All hope is lost. Save yourself.

My human has lost her mind.

Maybe if I look cute enough, she'll spare me–at least for today.

I have taken the liberty of investigating this strange illness that has inflicted my primary human. I felt it necessary, as she rescued me from the Shelter of No Toys and brought me to the Sanctuary where I now reside. While I must share my Temple with three others of my kind, I accept this misfortune–for now.

The illness that has taken my human seems to involve a place without cat photos. A travesty. An Abhorrent existence. However, I must let it exist–for now. Until I can do further studies on the impact of this activity and its role in ensuring the kibble bag is replenished… tonight.

It may be too late for us. Save yourself.

The cure to my human's vile illness can be found here. Funding is required for adequate study of the plague and the impact it will have on my household–and the status of my kibble bag.

Save me from starvation.

Buy this sacred object my human calls ‘a book.'

P.S.: My human has a box that takes moving pictures, and she keeps mumbling something about dancing and cleaning the floors after us… This may prove adequate revenge for the state of my kibble bag.

If you support the replenishment of my kibble bag, please share this post, like it, or otherwise do those things you humans do when presented with an adorable photograph of the supreme being that is a feline–in particular, me.

Signed,

Princess, the Kitty Inquisitor

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