I have a confession. I have a bad habit, although I often take advantage of it. I am a master of discounting my accomplishments and achievements. I often don't even realize I do it.
I've been doing this to myself all day today. I track my progress–or lack thereof–and I beat myself up when I fail to reach my goals.
I was in progress of beating myself up over how little I've gotten done. I wasn't feeling good earlier in the day, so I slept for a while. I've been cleaning a lot, and while the accomplishment of sorting through most of my novels is sitting right next to me, I have been hammering at myself for failing to do all the work associated with preparing a home for sale and an international move and writing all the words!
I'm an idiot. Yep.
I have a habit of checking on my word counts for the day, and I was doing my totals for today, and in the midst of beating myself for not getting anything done, I realized I had already surprassed my 2,000 word minimum for the day. I also cleaned, moved books, and otherwise did things other than writing.
In short, I was so obsessed with beating myself up without having actually verified I screwed up. I just assumed I was a fuck up, so I deserved to berate myself for not doing my basic job.
Except I did. I am my own worst enemy.
So, next time you start beating yourself for not being productive, take a look at what you have done. Sometimes, the truth will surprise you.