We all have something we'd like to do ‘one of these days.' It's a little bit like my unreleased shelf of shame; I toss the manuscripts that I feel should never see the light of day. A lot of my ‘one of these days' items involve books of some sort.
In reality, I'm pretty sure it's a good thing these books are on my ‘one of these days' lists, since they're disasters in the making.
So, sit back, buckle in, and prepare to (hopefully) get some giggles out of these items from the to-do list I never plan on doing, but I sure do think about doing from time to time.
I write fantasy or science fiction, and as often as not, when I write science fiction, magic worms its way into it somehow. Let's face it. I'm not cut out for anything other than the sf/f field. But boy, do I have these odd ‘one of these days' moments with the romance field in often.
So, here's my bucket list of things destined to kick the bucket before it has a chance to even get out of the bucket in the first place.
Yeah, this isn't happening. Sure, I have as much naughty material as the next girl on her kindle. As many of you have seen in my book buying binges, the naughty stuff is everywhere. And how can a girl resist those aaaaabs? Okay, fine, I resist the aaaabs all the time, but still. Somehow, all these naughty books still find their way onto my kindle.
I will never write more than some slightly steamy foreplay. That's just not my style, and that's just not the type of book I want to read. I'll leave the sexy time to people who are actually good at writing it. And no, I'm not prescribing to the practice makes perfect thing. Having owned and read many erotica stories, there's really only so many ways to describe a dude, a lady, and their thrusting. Anyway, I read for the relationships.
I like magic, okay?! I LIKE MAGIC. I enjoy writing crazy things, like gorgons and angels and killer evil kittens destined to try to destroy the world. I enjoy the dynamic magic brings. But ‘one of these days' I'd like to tell a mundane story.
It's probably never happening, but I can waste some time thinking about it, right?
If I ever got a lot of free time and access to an actual police detective or violent crimes field agent in the FBI, I'd so write a murder mystery where the killer likes painting with blood. Literally. It'd be also gross, there'd be a lot of bodies, and it'd probably become a thriller. And knowing me, a thriller series, because the killer would totally get away… for the starter. And then I'd do all sorts of asshole things along the way.
Everyone you love will die. And I would be in my corner, rubbing my hands together, laughing at your misery.
So, firmly in the ‘not happening' department, as I don't have access to the type of people I'd need for the research… is this murder mystery. Without magic. Any magic. No magic. Just a lot of violence and bloodshed.
And no sex, but I'd have romance. I'd probably even give the detective and his girlfriend a happily ever after. Or at least a “happily ever we both survived, wow.”
While I have this really odd love affair with ebola, I'd love to do some sort of ultra contagious disease story. I actually started one, but it's high magic. And it's really weird. It's currently in my “I am not actually pursuing this seriously but I write a few words on it here and there” shelf of shame. In short, everyone dies when they're a young adult, and when they come back to life, the disease has transformed them in several ways.
It's very rare someone doesn't return back to life. This story is about someone close to someone who didn't survive.
I really kinda want to write this one, but it's not happening… yet. It might one day. It's on the “One of these days…” list.
I totally would, and they'd be magical cats. Because cats. Do I really need to explain this?
Ew, real life. I'm going to make this one a list, since it's pretty explanatory. Things I'd actually like to do in the real life that I haven't done before!
Yeah, that's basically it. Go places, see shit.
What's on your bucket list?